Your Dog has Been Abducted by Aliens

by David Yates

There’s a note on your fridge. It’s a piece of white printer paper with letters cut out of a magazine glued onto it.

You find that a bit odd, as you thought that kind of thing went out of fashion around the time of the handheld printing press. The note says:

YOUR BELOVED PET CANINE DOG HAS BEEN ABDUCTED AND TAKEN BY ALIENS AND FOREIGNERS

So it appears you’re dealing with aliens. Foreign aliens. Foreign alien Luddites.

Leap into action!

Call the police.

Study the note carefully to determine the aliens’ taste in periodicals.

Start again